Episode 19 - The Bash!

A video package plays, with text appearing on the titantron as the announcer's dramatic voice stirs.

The time has come...

A quick flash of SmackDown's roster, all of them poised for stardom as rain effects fall over them.

To celebrate.

The previous editions of The Bash flash on screen, showing multiple versions of red, white and blue fireworks, sound clips of Lilian Garcia singing the national anthem, as the cheers of ecstatic fans from years past live on tonight.

To humiliate.

A brief video runs down the feud between Kane and Big Show, their verbal assaults on one another and especially their physical confrontations.

("I'm a monster! You're just a giant...freak. At least I've accepted what I truly am.")

To desecrate.

Muhammad Hassan is holding up the US Title, and in-ring speeches show him bash-ing the country it represents. He holds up his arms, turban on his head, gloating. But Kurt Angle is seen winning a Gold Medal in the Olympics, putting Daivari in the ankle lock. "I'm a real American Hero! That title should be mine and it will be mine!"

And...

To validate.

Randy Orton is seen declaring his status as the Legend Killer. Clips reveal The Undertaker's legacy. Tazz is heard saying, "That's what we like to call dominance."

And Edge... is seen stealing the World Title, cheating his way past The Undertaker in the rematch and bragging about his greatness in the ring. The crowd's boos are loud and clear.

Tonight... is...

The Bash.

And now, SmackDown! presents: The Bash!

Cameras fly to the stage for a spectacular fireworks display, patriotism shining brightly as red white and blue streaks fill the air. The crowd approves, chanting USA as the camera rowdily pans over the excited fans and Michael Cole's voice comes into earshot.

Welcome, everybody! To The Bash! I'm here with my bashful partner, Tazz, at ringside for what is sure to be an awesome ride!

"I'm about to bash you, Cole! Ha! I love it!" Tazz breaks out of his cool demeanor and horses around with Cole a bit. "USA spirit alive and kicking here tonight!"

White fireworks burst over the stage in the shape of a V as a shrill voice cries: ONE OF A KIND!

"And what a match to kick things off here tonight, partner! A 2 out of 3 falls match for the Cruiserweight Championship."
"No joke, Cole. This rocket-buster might just steal the show before it even gets started! Ha!"

Bookaya, booyaka... 61-61-619! Booyaka, booyaka! Rey Mysterio!

A fast pace would be an understatement. Mysterio lands dropkicks, Rob Van Dam looses the San Diego Speed Devil's mask with brutal, whipping martial arts kicks as both men utilize the ring to their advantages, truly crafting a story in the squared circle--a spectacle worth revisiting a thousand times over. Mysterio spins into a 619, his boots colliding with the face of Mr. Pay-Per-View himself, Rey assails the top rope and springboards into a delayed splash that is worthy of a 3 count. The crowd goes wild, but the match isn't over yet.

After catching Rey's leg after a barrage of kicks to his knee, Rob Van Dam lifts Mysterio's leg, steps over and spins his own foot into the chin of the Masked Sensation. It's his turn to fly and he crashes into Mysterio with the Five Star Frog Splash. 1...2...3. "The match is even at 1 fall a piece," Tony Chimel notifies the audience, who is on the edge of their collective seat. Meanwhile, Tazz & Cole can't believe what an astounding opening match this has turned out to be, with both combatants tenaciously hunting for the elusive Cruiserweight Championship.

"Here goes Mysterio--619, Cole!"
"Nobody home, partner! RVD rolls out of the way at the last second."
"Van Dam on the move--look out!" Tazz exclaims as a running wheel kick finds Mysterio.
"He's looking to get high for a second time here, Cole! Mysterio's done, I'm telling ya!"

Mr. Pay-Per-View climbs the top rope, makes a dazzling leap halfway across the ring...but Mysterio rolls out of the way. RVD's audible groans precede a dropkick to the back that sends him stumbling onto the middle rope. "Wine me, dine me, 6...1...9 me!" Tazz commentates as the 619 connects for a 2nd time. On the way down, Mysterio is the one that becomes intimate with the unforgiving canvas. Meanwhile, Rob Van Dam has assailed the top rope with staggering speed. Before Mysterio can even realize what is happening, he is sandwiched!

1...2...3.

"Oh my...GOSH, Cole. That match was better than the fireworks!"
"I couldn't agree more, partner. A tremendous way to kick off The Bash!"

************************************

Up next, Chris Masters poses his way down to the ring. The added boost of Stacy Keibler (in her typical fan-approved short skirt that shows off her long legs) at his side is a key factor of his crowd support. She is in a cheerful mood and rubs his washboard abs. Making her own provocative sloooow entrance through the ring ropes, Stacy bends over for the world to see. Masters imposes his way into the ring, clearly not lacking any self-confidence.

The crowd grows even louder as Booker T, one half of the tag team champions, makes his fiery entrance, clearly in the zone as the match ignites with rambunctious action. Booker T's explosive style matches up well against the Masterpiece's power-centered strategy. Despite the massive amount of cheers, the Houston native falls to the Masterlock. Stacy enters the ring, wowing the crowd a 2nd time, as she celebrates with her talent. "I gotta get myself a manager, Cole. Stacy's on fire tonight--whew, baby!"

Momentarily, Cole and Tazz are in a festive mood at ringside after the match. "Well, I'm afraid this is where things take a grim turn, ladies and gentlemen. Take a look."

The video package plays for the Last Man Standing match between Kane and Big Show, as a recap of the former's abusive tactics is shown on the big screen. Outdoing Booker T's entrance, the Big Red (and sickeningly proud) Monster bathes the arena in dark crimson flames, evil music escorting him to the ring as Big Show makes his way out next. The two big men stare each other down and before long, Kane insults the Giant saying he's the "Big Freak." As a result, all hell breaks loose! Big Show is soon busted open again, but it doesn't stop him!

The rage of the giant clashes well against Kane's inherent wickedness. The two big bulls brutalize each other all over the ring, the arena and finally into the stage area. Using his dominant power, the Big Show lifts Kane into a display light. There is a small electric explosion and the crowd gasps. A mountainous growl escapes the giant as he calls for the Show Stopper.

"Oh, gawd, Cole."
"Not off the stage..."
"Look out!"

But Kane reverses it mid-air and both men plummet through tables and other ringside equipment. The crowd is left in a stunned silence as are SmackDown's commentators.

**************************************

After EMT units tend to Big Show (and Kane, had he not fled from their efforts with a noticeable limp), things take a refreshing lighter note as new theme music fills the arena.





"What the hell, Cole? RAW divas at the bash? What gives?"
"I've just received word that these two delightful divas are now exclusive to SmackDown!"

Tony Chimel announces a bikini contest between the two sizzling hot divas. The crowd erupts!

The beauteous blonde Playboy cover girl declares that a bikini contest is the best way to make a debut!

"I'm gonna need new pants, Cole!"

The crowd can't decide which diva is victorious as they both celebrate together as a compromise. All is joy...until LITA appears on the titantron, calling the divas a pair of hussies.

Boos suddenly respond as Lita's words are nearly drowned out. "Tonight, my man, Edge, is going to be the true victor."

******************************************

"Well, that remains to be seen, ladies and gentlemen. Moving forward, the next encounter may be one that captures the essence of The Bash!"

A video plays for the steel cage match between Kurt Angle & the controversial Muhammad Hassan. Kurt Angle makes his heroic entrance, with the crowd clearly on his side.

Meanwhile, the ominous chamber of steel lowers over the ring. The crowd is squirming in their seats with anticipation. As the match begins, every time Hassan's face meets the steel walls, the crowd heartily approves. Before long, it is clear that Angle is too much for the shameful United States Champion. Hassan's goons try to interfere, but they can't manage to unlock the cage door.

To help them along through their confusion, Batista comes out and beats the crap out of them, letting out his fury. Meanwhile, Angle yanks Hassan (who was trying to escape during the confusion) down from the cage by his...ankle and latches on the crippling submission hold. Hassan is forced to tap out and the referee has to tackle Angle for him to relinquish the hold.

Angle's patriotic theme plays as he raises up the newly earned United States Championship. The crowd is applauding with fervid chants of USA! "Yeah! My man, Angle, getting it done!"

After Angle celebrates in the ring, putting on his gold medals as icing on the cake, the cage has already risen back up and Batista confronts Angle in the ring. The two men pass each other by as the Animal grabs a microphone. He is clearly upset, growling with Teddy Long's name being featured heavily in his angry speech. "I should be competing tonight for the World Heavyweight Championship, not those other two clowns. A cult leader and a brazen punk! So, Teddy, since you're obviously not going to give me what I want, what are you going to do, huh?

"You could at least give me something to pummel tonight."

The GM of SmackDown! makes his way onto the titan-tron, says if Batista is aching for some competition, he has just the right solution. "Just traded from RAW, I give you..."



IT'S - JOHN - CENA!

The crowd is ecstatic one way or another for the controversial former WWE champion from RAW. Batista wins a close one, and even has some fans on his side, as he rakes Cena's eyes and finishes him with a powerbomb. "Well, not quite the welcome John Cena was probably hoping for, but I don't think you can blame the Animal." Tazz remarks as Batista departs.

***********************************************

The best video package of the night plays for the triple threat main event. The crowd is hot for each combatant, but Edge easily receives the worst reaction, as he slithers his way to the ring with Lita attached to his hip. Around his waist is the coveted prize that both challengers yearn to have with every fiber of their being. The #1 contender Orton looks particularly hungry and batters Edge in the early going, but his attempts are diverted by the Demon from Death Valley. He has a bone to pick (literally) with the two men who cost him the championship.

After interfering once too many, Lita gets chokeslammed by The Undertaker. "That takes care of that, Cole! Ha!"

Randy Orton & Edge, two young commodities, discard The Undertaker and resume their back and forth tussling. Edge's clothesline misses, and he gets powerslammed over the top rope, crashing into Lita on the floor below. The expulsion of Edge allows Undertaker and Orton's heated exchange to repeat last week. The Phenom seizes the 3rd generation superstar by the throat, but this time, Orton refuses, scampering toward the turnbuckle while still in the clutches of the Deadman. He cinches his own arm around the former champion's head and connects with the run-up RKO from the corner. Undertaker splats onto the canvas with a deafening crash, motionless. "Orton just killed the Deadman, Cole! Damn!"

The crowd is left in disbelief. Edge is nowhere to be seen with his championship reign about to meet a short end. But Lita hops onto the apron to distract Orton. He swings, and Lita collapses in fear. Edge sneaks in, wallops Orton from behind with the title belt. The #1 contender tumbles into the ropes, and staggers back around, receiving a spear for the unpopular defeat.

"Lita's words ring true. but how long can edge cheat to stay on top?" Cole commentates, but The Undertaker sits up and scares the crap out of the sniveling champion, who bolts from the ring with his significant other in tow. The show appears to close on The Undertaker as he cuts a finger across his neck and rolls his eyes back as Edge holds up the title belt, but...Orton has recovered and is standing behind the Deadman. He is fuming at the mouth, as red as a cherry, and swings him around, aims the RKO, but is flipped mid-air into a tombstone.

The crowd thunderously applauds as Undertaker poses in the ring, the arena drenched in purple gloom.