The WWE intro plays, followed by:
Welcome to SmackDown! The #1 brand in sports-entertainnment!
No doubt, Cole! And SmackDown's going to live up to that honor tonight!
My sentiments exactly, partner! Tonight, we're going to see what promises to be an epic showdown between the People's Champion, The Rock, and the World Heavyweight Champion, the phenomenal Undertaker!
Two words, Cole: Rocket. Buster. I'm tellin' ya! Ha!
"Well, here they come, Tazz, the WWE Tag Team Champions, Christian and Y2J Chris Jericho. A few weeks ago, we saw them clash with their challengers for tonight. And it might've been a dark omen of things to come!" A video shows the victory by Booker T & Rob Van Dam weeks ago when they faced the Tag Team Champions. "Bah, I don't think so, Cole. Christian and Jericho--they know how to get the job done!"
Referee Jack Patton holds up the shimmering silver and blue Tag Team Titles. "That's what it's all about here tonight, Cole. And-- DAMN!" Tazz is cut off as Rob Van Dam drives his foot into the mouth of Chris Jericho to 'kick' off the contest. "RVD literally kicking things off here, Tazz, near fall on Jericho." Tazz agrees, saying, "Van Dam doesn't play around. Back in ECW, he held the TV Title for a whole year!" Cole commends Van Dam's tenacity. "An impressive feat, partner. There is no question that RVD wouldn't mind adding another championship belt to his present collection." Cole is referring to the Cruiserweight Championship, that waits at ringside for its keeper, as Jericho cockily plants a foot on the chest of Mr. Thursday Night.
"C'mon, baby!" Jericho's foolery amounts to a muscular pose atop Van Dam, who quickly rolls out from beneath his foot. The referee admonishes Jericho, who shoos him away. "I'm the King of the World!" Jericho growls self-assuredly and tags in Christian, who goes to work on Van Dam. After some dirty tactics, Van Dam flips out of the corner and tags in a hot Booker T!
"Book's teaching these two suckas how it really goes down, Cole!"
"Booker T is on fire, chop to Jericho, bet he feels the sting, but Christian--oh! A debilitating reverse DDT by Captain Charisma, planting the rowdy challenger!"
Christian punishes Booker T, who is trying to call upon the crowd to rally back against the champions, who continue to abuse the referee's eyesight (or lack thereof). A tag to Jericho leads to him holding onto the ropes as he applies a very uncomfortable looking abdominal stretch until referee Jack Patton sees it and breaks the hold. Jericho tries to corral the Houston Native, but he scampers to his team's corner and tags in a hot RVD, who plants yet another boot to Jericho's teeth, springboarding off the ropes and spin-kicking Christian to the floor.
Christian returns with the tag team belt in his grasp, trying to mosey in behind Van Dam, while the referee struggles to get Booker T (who's engaged Jericho) out of the ring as the illegal man, but Christian's attempts goes awry as Mr. Thursday Night leaps into the air and kicks the title belt back into Captain Charisma's face. "Oh, the peeps had to feel that one, Cole!"
Meanwhile, Booker T has listened to the referee, but only after planting Jericho with the Book End, which sets him up perfectly for the championship-worthy Five Star Frog Splash!
"What a way to kick off SmackDown! Nobody gets higher than that man right there, Mr. Thursday Night, Rob Van Dam!"
"Let's take a look at the replay, Tazz!" Cole gives commentary throughout the replay as the cameras flash during the huge splash. Meanwhile, the new champions celebrate while the former ones skulk to the back, pushing each other away in disagreement of what went wrong.
************************************************
Batista is hulking over the desk of Theodore Long, SmackDown's GM.
"Come on, Teddy--y'know I deserve a title shot at THE BASH."
"I have to disagree with ya, big man. Orton earned his shot at Super SmackDown."
"You know I had The Undertaker beat that night. If it wasn't for Angle..."
"Maybe so, big man. But I'll tell ya what--tonight, you can take your aggression on Orton."
Batista stares down the General Manager, but slowly backs away with a smirk on his face.
"Thanks, Teddy. A pleasure, as always."
The bell rings. Tony Chimel announces, "The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first..."
Rey Mysterio enters the building to a huge ovation. "Lots of support for the 619 Speed Devil tonight, Cole!"
His opponent, SmackDown's latest trade acquisition from RAW...
WELL...IT'S THE BIG SHOOOOW.
"What?" is the collective reaction. Most of all, Rey Mysterio is shocked at the size disparity of his incoming opponent. The Big Show is stomping his way down to the ring to a moderate reaction from the crowd. "David & Goliath meet again, Cole!" Cole agrees as Big Show looms over the top rope and steps into the ring. Mysterio is itching, but unsure of how to tackle the giant. Eventually, the mountainous acquisition rakes in at Mysterio, big hands trying to yank him into his grasp, but Mysterio slips between his legs. Instinctively, he brilliantly hops off the ropes and leaps backward at Big Show.
"He got caught! Mysterio's done for, I'm tellin' ya!"
"What's Big Show doing here?"
Big Show lifts Mysterio high into the air and tosses him with ease over the top rope. "Crash and burn, courtesy of the Big Show." Mysterio slowly recovers as Big Show motions to the fans for a mixed reaction. The San Diego Sensation crawls back into the squared circle but it's to no avail. Big Show's size and strength are too much. A merciful, yet agonizing Chokeslam puts Mysterio down for the 3 count and then some.
"Your winner of this match, the BIG...SHOW."
************************************************
Back after a commercial break, the cameras dawn upon Eddie Guerrero, who is joking around with a battered Mysterio. "You got squashed, holmes! I've been in your shoes. I tried my hardest to beat him, but, hey, holmes--" Eddie shrugs. "He's a big boy, vato!" Mysterio tries to play along, but his back is feeling the brunt of the injuries after taking on the Big Show.
"I see you guys are laughing it off, but shorty here just got himself whooped in the ring tonight," says a disparaging Shelton Benjamin, ego rising through his blond hair. "See, I ain't too big on giggles and screwing around. I'm all about winning and proving to the WWE Universe that I'm the best in the world and the future of WWE." Eddie and Rey perk an eyebrow. "Eh, is that right, ese?" Eddie jabs back. "I suppose that's why you've been trying so hard to lose lately, huh, cabron?" Shelton tenses and stares a hole through Guerrero.
In the background, though he goes unnoticed by Cole & Tazz is a pensive Kurt Angle, who has to be feeling sour after his tough loss to The Undertaker last week. Meanwhile, to make matters worse, the turban-clad duo of Muhammad Hassan & Khosrow Daivari step up alongside Benjamin. "Yeah, Rey, you gave a nice showing tonight. Almost as nice as when you gave me this..." Hassan points to the United States Championship that is hanging over his shoulder. The smarmy Arab superstar clutches the belt. Before Eddie can voice a comeback...
"Hey." Kurt Angle bluntly enters the heated exchange, obviously in a fierce mood. "Mysterio's no chump. I know from experience." He vouches for the heel's latest target. "I just lost one of the biggest matches of my career. Frankly, I'm still pissed about it. So why do I gotta hear you 3 punks yammer about who's the best? Because if anyone's a chump around here, I'm looking at 'em right now." Angle declares in his nasally voice, staring down Benjamin and Hassan. Daivari shouts something in Arabic but Angle holds up a hand to stop him. "What's that? You're saying Hassan here wants to hand his title over to a real American champion?" The crowd voices a collective "ooh" at the bold statement. Hassan tenses even more and cuts off his manager. Meanwhile, Chris Masters has perked up to listen in on the war of words.
"You don't deserve to face me for this title, Mr. Angle. You're not even qualified. None of you are. But if you want to settle this..."
"What--in the ring? No problem." Mysterio finally speaks up in his gravelly voice, but Eddie steps in front of him. "I got this covered for ya, holmes."
"I'll run circles around you three clowns." Angle accepts the offer, grinning confidently. The Masterpiece steps up, his muscles pumping as he speaks.
"Y'know, Kurt's not the only one that has a problem with you having that championship, Hassan. I wouldn't mind breaking you in half tonight either."
"Sounds good, then, doesn't it?" Shelton Benjamin jumps in. "Because all I see is a has-been, a midget and a beefcake that's all brawn and no brains."
"Yeah, it does." Angle chimes in. "I guess my teachings went in one ear and out the other, Benjamin. After tonight, you won't have a leg to stand on."
"We'll see." Benjamin responds to his former mentor, and Hassan repeats it, followed by Daivari's incoherent rambling as the three men exit the room.
"Oh, man, Cole. This night's getting better by the minute!"
"I don't know, partner. Things might only get worse as the night goes on."
It seems Cole's worry are confirmed as...
BATISTA hulks onto the stage, angry rock music booming throughout the arena. RANDY ORTON enters next and cheats his way to a victory by putting his feet on the ropes. Batista is furious and chases Orton to the backstage area. Orton tries to escape, but comes to blows with the larger superstar. Being overpowered, Batista slams him through an equipment table. "Good luck at The Bash, punk." Batista growls as he stomps away, having no problem with security as referees tend to Orton, who is covered in debris and splintered wood, wincing.
"Well, I think the moral here is to not anger the beast, eh, Cole?"
********************************************************
In the 6 man tag team match, egos are brimming to a breaking point. The technically-studded trio of Masters, Angle & Guerrero clash well with Benjamin's agility, but are overwhelmed by Hassan & Daivari's dirty antics in the early part of the contest. Inevitably, chaos breaks loose, giving referee Nick Patrick too much to deal with. The Angle Slam finds Daivari, who is thrown over the ropes as a result. Meanwhile, Guerrero lands the 3 Amigos on Hassan, who stumbles back up to his feet, only to be lynched by the Masterlock while Benjamin is left to writhe in the Angle Lock.
As the losing trio limp to the back, Angle gestures at Hassan, enviously making a point about how he wants that US Title that still unceremoniously hangs over the Arab's shoulder.
Backstage, The Undertaker is present for a rare interview with Josh Matthews. "Well, first of all, congratulations on your successful title defense last week against Kurt Angle." Matthews commends the Demon of Death Valley in a shaky voice. "Tonight, in a non-title match that is now mere moments away, you are to face the People's Champion, The Rock. What are you feelings?" The Undertaker regards the scrawny interviewer with his fearsome eyes that nearly send Matthews scampering out of his shoes. "The Rock..." He begins in a sinister drawl. "And myself go way back. We've had some disagreements in the past. But tonight?" The Phenom raises an eyebrow as Matthews swallows a lump in his throat. "...It ends." And he leaves.
IF YA SMELL...WHAT THE ROCK...IS COOKIN'!
It's yet another fierce match for The Undertaker, who's had two back-to-back title defenses. Even with the power of darkness, the champion has to be running low on resolve. The Rock is there to beat him down, equally brisk, until a neck-and-neck exchange concludes with a tombstone piledriver after a reversal to the Rock Bottom. "Wow, Cole, what a match. The Deadman said it was going to end tonight, and The Rock went down." Afterward, the champion exchanges nods with the humbled Brahma Bull, who returns to the back, and then drops to one knee, the lights switching to a purple mist as the Demon of Death Valley raises the coveted World Championship in the center of the ring, the organ-laced music chilling the arena.
"That's one scary dude, Cole. Who's going to be able to stop the Dea--"
"W-what--who's that by the turnbuckle?" Cole interrupts, noticing the shrouded figure in the corner as the crowd falls into a clamor.
"No, no, no, who's THAT at ringside, Cole? Don't turn around, champ!"
Suddenly, the lights come back on. The Undertaker turns around, barely able to stand as Edge's shoulder rams into him, slamming him on the mat. The lights dawn upon the blond Rated R Superstar, who's made a name for himself since being traded to RAW, paramountly clear by the briefcase that is being held by Lita, the other one at ringside. Edge is hollering something to the referee, who in turn is shouting something to Tony Chimel. "Edge is cashing in his Money in the Bank briefcase. The following match is scheduled for one fall and it is for the World Heavyweight Championship." Not wasting any time, Edge rushes in on the stunned champion, but the Phenom powers out at the breath of 3. "C'mon, Undertaker!" Cole blurts.
Before long, referee Mike Chioda is leveled by a big boot from The Undertaker. As the champion hesitates for just a moment, Edge prepares a 2nd spear, but is beat to the punch by the #1 contender, Randy Orton, who slips into the ring and RKOs the champion. He pops back up to his feet, glances at the fallen Phenom, and says, "He's all yours. I'll see you at The Bash."
"Not like this--come on!" Cole heatedly disputes.
"What the hell? This ain't right..." Tazz responds.
As Edge clobbers the Deadman with a spear.
Meanwhile, Lita is reviving referee Mike Chioda, who makes a slow, but evident 3 count. "Here is your winner...and NEW...World Heavyweight Champion..."
...ON THIS DAY...
"I can't believe this! That spineless Orton just cost The Undertaker the World Heavyweight Title!" Cole shouts in disgust, as Edge & Lita are brought to tears in celebration.
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